just... GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Mama has the amazing talent of making us, her children, realize how much of a failure we really are.

the hidden meaning behind "Carmina Catacutan"

You Are Original and Innovative

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way! You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

i kinda doubt it though :P

putang ina

as if this day couldn't get any worse.

i hate it hate it hate it.

i've been depressed the whole week.
i've been lethargic.
i've been eating more than i should (but can't be compared to rea's LOL).
my skin is fucking breaking out. it's the first time i have three pimples on my ugly face.
i've, again, thought about that. ooh. dark.
twilight sucked. i hated kirsten (however you spell her name) 's acting and i am disturbed by rob's chest hair.
and now i fucking hate my job. i'm not so happy with my boss. yeah boss is enjoyable and fun sometimes but ... yeah.
yeah and i think i'm really sick but i don't want to go see a doctor. or tell my mom.
i'm going to pay for gym that I didn't go to this month because.. MAMA KASI!!!!
i bought Microsoft Vista for 5,400. credit card.
i should pay for the smart fucking bro that kuya PROMISED to pay. last year pa.
i want to buy a dslr but can't! because i have so much to pay for!
the whole goddamn world is in recession and there are terrorist attacks in India!
ryo is so fucking hot and i will never ever be able to have sex with him. wait, i will never ever get to have sex with any man.




why am i stuck in such a loser phase? gaaaaaahhhh

i want to escape.
i want to cry. fuck it. i can't yet, i'm still in the office.
i wanted to go to the NU rock awards. :(
i couldn't. BECAUSE OF MY BELOVED WORK.
it's really manageable IF only it was properly distributed. pag walang gagawin, totally walang gagawin. pag meron todo todo naman at sabay-sabay.
hay. life.


di bale. ilang taon na lang.

birthday blues?

i guess this is what people call birthday blues. but i don't have it during birthdays. i usually have it all year round. and it just gets worse every year.

basically, i just feel like crap for not having done anything significant with my life. where was my passion to be of service to mankind? lately i've just become a doormat.
where are my dreams? of becoming a film director? of writing for television? of imparting something creative with the world? zipppppp nothing.
how much do i have in the bank?
what achievements can i be proud of come high school reunion, ten years after graduation?

it shouldn't be a big deal but somehow i think it is an issue that i still haven't had a boyfriend.
and i blame it on my fatness, ugliness, weirdness, and too independentness (LOL)
and probably my fear of commitment.

also, lately, i feel like i've been more the existentialist i'm afraid of becoming. like that poem that i'll never forget (but i already did), i'm like a wave endlessly crashing the shore. i am destroying those who are near me and i push them away.

what the fuck's wrong with me?

and more importantly, what should i do?

:P

still boring. not really. been busy because i need money.
don't we all.

anyway, went down to take a peek at CT's new show. we were introduced again by his manager. the last time I was introduced, I was "supporter ng UST" and it's okay because UAAP season was still far. but yesterday, it held a diffrent meaning because we have a game against them tomorrow!!! nakakahiya kaya! sabi pa ni manager "O ayan, tiga UST." tapos nagtawanan na lang kami kahit na nahihiya ako. hmp.
in my mind i was inflicting bodily harm to him. XP
it's a good thing i never found him attractive.

i hope UST wins tomorrow!

i was watching Got to Believe (Star Cinema) at lunch today. kyaaaaaaaa~ super kilig pala yun. hehe i forgot na eh!

and Chris Tiu = Rico Yan.
although my officemates had a violent reaction when i said that. LOL they said Rico Yan looks waaaaaay better than Chris Tiu.
it's also a good thing that i never found Rico Yan attractive.

ahehehe

:P

erm...

so i haven't updated. boo me.

yeah.

i dunno, i don't write in my journal, my LJ, and here. i'm too boring. lol i don't feel like i'm doing enough with my life anyway.

random stuff:
- went to the alicia keys concert earlier (finally!) and i can now die.
- dreamt about brandon boyd last night. really weird. but i'm not complaining!

i think i just need to sleep. it's already 2 am! ohnoez! i'll be late for work again. darnit.

hey, dhez! :)

back!

it's nice pala to write freely. when you know no one's really reading what you write or you never wonder if people will read it. there's not pressure. it's just like talking to yourself. :D

i managed to remember and dig up my first blog in xanga which i used from july 2004 til late 2005 (when GMA IT blocked the site after the last entry I wrote wherein i said "employees can waste more time in blogging" taena narinig ako!)

i then used blogger for sometime and then IT also blocked it.

then i got into jpop and started obsessing over johnny's boys and i got an LJ, which i will be using to fangirl while i will go back here for RL stuff.

yipee! it's fun to talk to myself again. hehe