carmina catacutan<-- i dunno how this became the title

last night, i had the most terrifying dream i've ever had since i don't remember when.... (heehee)

I was in a van, I think it was Brownie, our old Toyota town ace. The van was packed, with soldiers sitting at the back. We were going to Batangas ( I don't know how I knew, I just knew), and there were hills and mountains on either side of the road. Then dynamites started blowing up. I think it was our work, or of the soldiers in the van with us. Seemingly content with what happened, the soldiers slacked off (umaandar pa rin ang van). Suddenly, people started coming out of the mountains. Pinagbabaril nila kami. The van started moving faster (with Mama Peng and Mommy Son...weird...); we were "running" for dear life. Then the shooting stopped. We arrived at a gas station for fuel and the girls got down to use the bathroom. While in the bathroom, we found ourselves the target of shooting once again. We ran to that van while dodging bullets.... GISING!!!!

that was the dream. Why was it so scary?! because in the dream I felt so helpless. I didn't know whhat to do and I knew that any minute my life could end there. My life lay on the hands of the person/people whose fingers are on the trigger of their M-16s. When I woke up my heart was beating so fast. I thought of the soldiers who put their life on the line, with an unsure future.