the past
i recently dug up old journals. i don't really keep a diary (day to day) except when i was in Japan, but i just took note in my mobile phone what i did or where i went that day. Usually i just buy a notebook to write in, then i'd have periods of "writing", when i'm in the mood to write about whatever comes to mind. I read past entries...and I noticed that most of the times I wrote were during the times I was heartbroken or depressed. Generally, I am always lazy to write (heck I'm toooooo lazy to do anything, I'm wondering why I still have a job). I felt, as I was reading those past entries so full of emotion, that I was detached from whoever wrote that in the past. I didn't feel like I was the one writing those things down. Weird. Here are some interesting stuff i have written:
1. This was during sophomore year in college, I felt betrayed when I learned that my bestfriend's new boyfriend was the one I had feelings for (the guy courted me but, well nothing happened, thanks to me) so anyway, this is what I wrote down:
my first heartbreak:
It hurts, it sucks, it drains your tears, it makes you do things you never thought of doing, it makes you say things you never said or maybe never do it even if you said it.
It makes you think thoughts that are happy, sad, out of this world, weird, vengeful, bitchy, extremely hurtful, et cetera. Actually if your thoughts could be calculated, it would run 180 km/h.
It makes you lose sleep, it makes you teary-eyed. It makes you relate to ALL songs, even the jologs ones. You will always catch yourself on the brink of tears. It makes you the person whom you are not. It brings you closer, it tears you apart. It makes you hate yourself, it makes you hate others. It makes you hate stupid, sappy, cheesy love songs and ballads. It makes you relate to those songs you hate. It makes you hate happy people.
It most especially hurts when you love bith parties. It makes you wish them well, it makes you wish for them not to make it. It makes you think and wish that you'd have the last laugh. It makes you realize how rotten you are. It makes you think about the past, present, and future.
It just SUCKS!
okay, i don't really get the first part and some thoughts repeat. but that was how i really felt back then.
1. This was during sophomore year in college, I felt betrayed when I learned that my bestfriend's new boyfriend was the one I had feelings for (the guy courted me but, well nothing happened, thanks to me) so anyway, this is what I wrote down:
my first heartbreak:
It hurts, it sucks, it drains your tears, it makes you do things you never thought of doing, it makes you say things you never said or maybe never do it even if you said it.
It makes you think thoughts that are happy, sad, out of this world, weird, vengeful, bitchy, extremely hurtful, et cetera. Actually if your thoughts could be calculated, it would run 180 km/h.
It makes you lose sleep, it makes you teary-eyed. It makes you relate to ALL songs, even the jologs ones. You will always catch yourself on the brink of tears. It makes you the person whom you are not. It brings you closer, it tears you apart. It makes you hate yourself, it makes you hate others. It makes you hate stupid, sappy, cheesy love songs and ballads. It makes you relate to those songs you hate. It makes you hate happy people.
It most especially hurts when you love bith parties. It makes you wish them well, it makes you wish for them not to make it. It makes you think and wish that you'd have the last laugh. It makes you realize how rotten you are. It makes you think about the past, present, and future.
It just SUCKS!
okay, i don't really get the first part and some thoughts repeat. but that was how i really felt back then.
posted by iceuck at
02:28
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